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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Have you seen the tv show on Own? If not, are you insane? Do you not have a television set? There is no reason to not watch Love Is..

Point blank period.

Lets get into this post honey.

It’s a reason I’m the way I am about love. It’s mostly related to the Bible verse above. 1st Corinthians 13:4-8 is my absolute favorite and yeah, its my holy grail. I’ve based most of what I know about love off of that blueprint.

Surely Mara Brock Akil had Corinthians in mind when she created the hit tv show Love Is on the Own Network.

Chile, I’m all in.

Let me clarify.

This is my kind of show.

The storytelling and the show itself resonates with me in a plethora of ways. For starters she created this show with her husband, Salim Akil who is her business partner and its based off of their real life story. That’s the first thing that attracted me to it. Secondly, it’s speaks to who I am. How tired are we of seeing the stereotypical black male on mainstream tv playing the drug dealer, a straight up deadbeat and a loser? We are tired. It’s not our total experience and the way she writes the story is just gorgeous.

Yasir and Nuri are the characters.

They are unapologetically the shit.

Yes I said that. They are the shit.

I believe them.

I love them.

I want to be Nuri.

Hell, when I’m watching I kinda vamp into her anyway. I feel it all, as if it’s happening to me.

That fine black man Yasir, I want to have him for myself.

And… About Yasir, or the Actor that plays him, let’s just get into the magic that is Will Catlett. I’ve been a fan of him from his days on the now defunct Youtube series That Guy. Will is too believable in this role. Michelle Weaver who plays Nuri has a great chemistry with Will. They are basically two breakout stars who’ve captivated the hearts of thousands of viewers. Brand new folks making it do what it do.

Yuri and Nasir.

Unapologetically the shit.

Yes, I said it again.

There is something magical that happens when these two characters come onto the screen.

I’m going to be real transparent here for a moment. I weep from almost every episode. Listen to me now, I literally weep. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why my reaction was that of tears. I later realized that this show made me remember love. I’ve been doing the most and had completely forgot. The gesture, the feeling, and the absolute beauty of love.

Lord help me!

I had forgotten what it’s like to be “in” love.

Dear God in heaven.

The way I’ve been carrying myself is the complete antithesis of what I’m not.

I am love. Deep feeling. Emotional to the 10th power, and oh my my my, I had forgot.

As a lover of writing, words and storytelling , this kind of show bends me in ways that I’ve always wanted to stretch but didn’t quite know how. This show is for us, by us and about us.

FUBU y’all.. Don’t worry, you’ll catch it later.

It’s bitter sweet because the next episode is the season finale and it seems as if we’ve only just begun. The good news is the show has already been renewed for a second season. Yay love!

Love Is.. the boom and the bip.

Love Is.. the creme de le creme.

Love Is a risk but the caveat is.. well it’s, love. In a world full of folly, It’s what we need today. It conquerors all. It heals all. Love never fails.

The blueprint.

Watch Love Is on Tuesday’s at 10 pm on the Own network.

Peace, love and more love,

Dee

Today your ears just may overdose on hearing about Love, love, love.
We all need it.
We all want it.
Some of us want marriage, and these days it can seem disheartening and almost non exisistant.

If you are young, single, divorced, or feeling like love will never come your way again, then the  Love Below is for you.

I decided to do a feature on love and marriage as a tribute, and also as a way to fortify those of us who haven’t given up on the idea of love and marriage.

If it wasn’t for these couples, I may have given up a long time ago. I gathered close family and friends and asked a few questions about love, marriage and commitment. I know and love them all, but their answers still struck a cord at my heartstrings. I’m a big ole softy, and love is a big deal to me. Please enjoy the following featured post.

Meet Jerome and Brandy

image

How long have you been together.
We met when were ages 12 and 14. We’ve been together for 23 yrs not including a small break up we had for a few years while adjusting to our own indivual growing pains.

How did you know your mate was the one? We’ve always known. I knew Jerome was the one when I asked myself if I could see myself without him my answer was always NO, so from there I knew he was my forever and he feels the same way. We really are best friends.

How do you work through marital issues.
We try not to argue, and we resolve issues by communicating. First off, without proper communication, things will not work. We talk about our issues and come up with a solution.

Today, marriage especially among younger couples is very rare. What’s your formula to a loving, long lasting healthy marriage?  
Again, communication is key. I’ve also learned that I am not in this marriage alone, so I let my husband be a man and by that I mean, I let him take care of his family.

image

Jerome and Brandy are a great couple.
I’ve watched these two kids grow into beautiful,  successful adults raising their family and doing it together. My little cousins inspire me!
Their favorite song is The Best of Me by Anthony Hamilton

Meet Brad and Dorothea
How long have you been together.
We’ve been together for Twenty-two years total and married for fifteen.

How did you know you two were meant to be together?
I knew because we couldn’t be with any one else, even when we tried.

How do you work through any marital issues.
We just work. It seems like there is a whole lot to that,  but it’s not.  We just work through it.

Today, marriage especially among younger couples is very rare. What’s your formula to a loving, long lasting healthy marriage? I don’t know the formula. We just try to make each other happy. Brad is really smooth foreal. *she smiles*
He always knows what to do and say.

image

Brad and Dorothea are another one of those couples that are young, and have defied the odds by successfully remaining together. They are great parents to my nieces and nephew. They are good together and my brother is probably one of the most handsome men I’ve ever seen. And no, I’m not bias just because he’s my brother (well maybe a little bias) but, honestly aren’t they a great looking couple?
Their favorite song is Up Where We Belong by Bee & Cecelia Winans

Meet Tony and Tammy

image

How long have you been together.
We’ve been together for twenty years and married for seventeen.
How did you know you were meant to be together?
My husband came into my life when I was running the streets and out of control. He calmed me down so I knew then that he was the one.
How do you work through marital issues?
Communication is the key. Also, marriage is a partnership. Never let anyone into your business.

Today, marriage especially among younger couples is very rare. What’s your formula to a loving, long lasting healthy marriage? If you have something that works, dont change anything because as soon as you put the marriage tag on your relationship then people tend to change, often for the worse and it can mess up the whole relationship.

image

These two are the God-parents to my seven year old. They have always filled that role very well and consider her one of their own kids. The marital image that is most needed in family, we have been fortunate enough to see that in them. They have a great marriage and I can always count on a good laugh, a listening ear,  and the honest truth. I am blessed to have them in my life. My daughter is blessed to have them, and they definitely are an inspiration to me. One of my favorite true love couples.
Their favorite song is Spend My Life by Eric Benet’ & Tamia

Meet Marcel and Tamara

image

When did the two of you meet and how long have you been together? We met in our early twenties and we’ve been together now for almost 12 years and counting…. *smiles*

How did you know you were meant to be together? Tammy explains, How I knew he was the one for me was I prayed after coming out of an abusive relationship, I prayed and asked God for certain details, character, personality, and his physical appearance, and I did not share these things with anyone except God!! Because I could not afford to submit to another man that God didn’t ordain for me!! Lord that was a mess!!!

How do you work through marital issues. The way we LEARNED to work through our marital issues was by communicating and being honest, even if the truth hurts… And compromising and praying together! Also what we’re even doing now is making sure even our goals line up with God and each other!
What do think is the formula for a successful and happy marriage?
I would have to say the secret to a long lasting and happy relationship is first  knowing that you’re there to last… Come what may… Also key is counseling to help maintain what you have… A lot of young couples today are not taking their vows seriously… “For better or for worst” those Words mean everything!! Trust me when I tell you it has not been peaches and cream always but you have to be willing to keep pushing!! Marriage is not for punks!! Lol. sorry for tht word!! But it’s the truth. Hope this helps someone and we love u lots!!
image

Song choice for this couple is Stay with You by John Legend


When I asked My cousin Tamara to do this, she didn’t hesitate and said she was honored. But let me say, it’s an honor for me. These are people that I love, my family and I am so proud of the fact that I can be a voyeur into the life of something good. I’m honored and inspired.

This feature warms my heart. These couples are far from perfect, but they are the real thing. I wanted to write about relationships of young people that went beyond ten years or more. I am happy with what I see here. I get mushy when I read their responses and when I see the love flowing between them all.
Don’t give up on love yall, the ONE is on the horizon.

Happy love day!
Peace and blessings,
Dee

For starters, can I still call myself a single lady if “He” has already asked me to be his lady and I accepted?

I don’t know if I’m clear on that.
I don’t know that I care for clarification since, I’m not all caught up on titles such as girlfriend, boyfriend, my lady, my man and so on.

I’m more into the knowing.

And if you know that you know what you know, the title is irrelevant..

Let me move along before I start rambling.

So yea, you know that rule.

The 90 day one.

Something about not having sexual relations until after the first 90 days because waiting 90 days will give you time to grow your relationship, grant you some morality cool points, and hopefully take your relationship to a more comfortable, stable situation.

Well, I guess I’ve been sort of doing the 90 day rule on steroids.

Nooooo.. I’m not on steroids.

I’ve just taken a different approach to the 90 day rule which in actuality really isn’t so different at all.

This isn’t something I go around broadcasting either, so give me a moment. My closer circle of family and friends know about it. But somehow, it’s kind of hard to say here..
Eh…
Umm..
I’m…
I’m celibate.
There, I said it.
Here is my confession:
I practice celibacy. I’ve been practicing it for years. The number doesn’t matter, just know it’s been a long time. My youngest child is seven years old, so you can venture a guess that it’s sometime between her birth and now. What’s important though is the why.

It is a personal choice and the lifestyle will not suit everyone. It comes with its own set of challenges, doubts, fears, temptations, and all of that is amplified when you are actively in a relationship.
For me, I always wanted that traditional situation. That biblical idea of the virgin, husband/wife and all that. I always wanted it, yet I didn’t know that I wanted it until after I was already an unmarried mother of four.

I alone decided to recommit myself to the idea, and wait until marriage to have that kind of bond with a man again.
Let me give you some background.
I like sex.
I enjoy it.
Alot.
But, I’ve had it before, and a relationship is so much more than sex. My thinking is, that when sex comes into the relationship too soon, things get mixed up and can become quite complicated. Development takes a backseat because its growth has been stunted by lust and desire. As a result of this, we don’t get time to properly grow the relationship because now, an emotional attachment, via sex has shook up the natural order of things.
I wanted more.
I wanted to experience a greater love. An organically grown love.
Based on truth, respect, honor, trust, loyalty and I knew I couldn’t aquire that greater love without a sacrifice. I wanted more than I had previously had.  I began to desire more and I wrote about it, I thought about it, and I prayed about it. What God gave me back is that if I wanted something different, I had to do something different. And so, the journey began.
I’ve often been met with criticism, and believe it or not, it mostly comes from other women. And what do these women say?
1. Oh I couldn’t do that.
2. Why are you depriving yourself.
3. Do you even like sex.
4. No man will ever go for that.
5. You must be crazy.
6. It couldn’t be me.
7. oh, hell no, I Gets mine.
And the list goes on and on… trust me, other women be trying it.
Men aren’t nearly as critical as woman can be with this information, but they immediately turn into huntsman. A few scenarios can take place when you tell a man this for the first time. 
1. Intially, he doesn’t believe you.
2. He doesn’t take the full magnitude of what you’re saying.
3. He thinks you are celibate because you are single.
4. He believes he can slow walk you, change your mind, and conquer you.

Men love a challenge. It’s like a hunt, so now you withholding sex becomes a game. If any man can’t respect this process, then he ain’t the man for me. They will try you, but when you hold out, and stick to your own principles, he is going to do one of two things. Stick around, or leave.
It’s really that simple.

The thing about me is that I am extremely strong and very serious about my principles. It’s basically a covenant between me, and God. I refuse to allow anyone to break that covenant, even myelf. The covenant will come full circle on my wedding day. The man I marry will be the one. The whole of it is for him, and I, and our union. I don’t have time to be dating some guy for three months, giving away my treasure, later realizing we aren’t that compatible at all.
Personally, I’ve always had a pretty strong set of values and I’ve never been into casual sex.
I don’t act on impulse or emotions.
No thanks.
I’m doing it this way.
I know what God told me. I’m real clear on that. 
I’m currently in a relationship, and explaining it to him was a lot easier than a few other men I’ve had this same conversation with over the years. He didn’t automatically understand it, but he did ask a ton of questions and eventually learned it’s importance to me.
I gave him a choice.
Stay or go.
I’m not changing.
He can change his own mind about continuing in this if he wants to.
We are highly attracted to each other in every way, but my principles come first.
The elements of our relationship are the same as any other. It’s fun, it’s giddy, it’s interesting, its intimate, it’s deep, it’s growing. We enjoy each other. We enjoy every aspect of a traditional relationship except, we don’t have sex. That’s it.
I’m doing it this way. We’re doing it this way.
I’m trusting God.
I’m honoring the process.
And anyone who doesn’t get or understand it, that’s really a problem for them.
Me and my dude, we good over here..

Peace and blessings,
Dee

image

Today your ears just may overdose on hearing about Love, love, love.
We all need it.
We all want it.
Some of us want marriage, and these days it can seem disheartening and almost non exisistant.

If you are young, single, divorced, or feeling like love will never come your way again, then the  Love Below is for you.

I decided to do a feature on love and marriage as a tribute, and also as a way to fortify those of us who haven’t given up on the idea of love and marriage.

If it wasn’t for these couples, I may have given up a long time ago. I gathered close family and friends and asked a few questions about love, marriage and commitment. I know and love them all, but their answers still struck a cord at my heartstrings. I’m a big ole softy, and love is a big deal to me. Please enjoy the following featured post.

Meet Jerome and Brandy

image

How long have you been together.
We met when were ages 12 and 14. We’ve been together for 23 yrs not including a small break up we had for a few years while adjusting to our own indivual growing pains.

How did you know your mate was the one? We’ve always known. I knew Jerome was the one when I asked myself if I could see myself without him my answer was always NO, so from there I knew he was my forever and he feels the same way. We really are best friends.

How do you work through marital issues.
We try not to argue, and we resolve issues by communicating. First off, without proper communication, things will not work. We talk about our issues and come up with a solution.

Today, marriage especially among younger couples is very rare. What’s your formula to a loving, long lasting healthy marriage?  
Again, communication is key. I’ve also learned that I am not in this marriage alone, so I let my husband be a man and by that I mean, I let him take care of his family.

image

Jerome and Brandy are a great couple.
I’ve watched these two kids grow into beautiful,  successful adults raising their family and doing it together. My little cousins inspire me!
Their favorite song is The Best of Me by Anthony Hamilton

Meet Brad and Dorothea
How long have you been together.
We’ve been together for Twenty-two years total and married for fifteen.

How did you know you two were meant to be together?
I knew because we couldn’t be with any one else, even when we tried.

How do you work through any marital issues.
We just work. It seems like there is a whole lot to that,  but it’s not.  We just work through it.

Today, marriage especially among younger couples is very rare. What’s your formula to a loving, long lasting healthy marriage? I don’t know the formula. We just try to make each other happy. Brad is really smooth foreal. *she smiles*
He always knows what to do and say.

image

Brad and Dorothea are another one of those couples that are young, and have defied the odds by successfully remaining together. They are great parents to my nieces and nephew. They are good together and my brother is probably one of the most handsome men I’ve ever seen. And no, I’m not bias just because he’s my brother (well maybe a little bias) but, honestly aren’t they a great looking couple?
Their favorite song is Up Where We Belong by Bee & Cecelia Winans

Meet Tony and Tammy

image

How long have you been together.
We’ve been together for twenty years and married for seventeen.
How did you know you were meant to be together?
My husband came into my life when I was running the streets and out of control. He calmed me down so I knew then that he was the one.
How do you work through marital issues?
Communication is the key. Also, marriage is a partnership. Never let anyone into your business.

Today, marriage especially among younger couples is very rare. What’s your formula to a loving, long lasting healthy marriage? If you have something that works, dont change anything because as soon as you put the marriage tag on your relationship then people tend to change, often for the worse and it can mess up the whole relationship.

image

These two are the God parents to my seven year old. They have a great marriage and I can always count on a good laugh, a listening ear,  and the honest truth. I am blessed to have them in my life and they definitely are an inspiration.
Their favorite song is Spend My Life by Eric Benet’ & Tamia

Meet Marcel and Tamara

image

When did the two of you meet and how long have you been together? We met in our early twenties and we’ve been together now for almost 12 years and counting…. *smiles*

How did you know you were meant to be together? Tammy explains, How I knew he was the one for me was I prayed after coming out of an abusive relationship, I prayed and asked God for certain details, character, personality, and his physical appearance, and I did not share these things with anyone except God!! Because I could not afford to submit to another man that God didn’t ordain for me!! Lord that was a mess!!!

How do you work through marital issues. The way we LEARNED to work through our marital issues was by communicating and being honest, even if the truth hurts… And compromising and praying together! Also what we’re even doing now is making sure even our goals line up with God and each other!
What do think is the formula for a successful and happy marriage?
I would have to say the secret to a long lasting and happy relationship is first  knowing that you’re there to last… Come what may… Also key is counseling to help maintain what you have… A lot of young couples today are not taking their vows seriously… “For better or for worst” those Words mean everything!! Trust me when I tell you it has not been peaches and cream always but you have to be willing to keep pushing!! Marriage is not for punks!! Lol. sorry for tht word!! But it’s the truth. Hope this helps someone and we love u lots!!
image

Song choice for this couple is Stay with You by John Legend


When I asked My cousin Tamara to do this, she didn’t hesitate and said she was honored. But let me say, it’s an honor for me. These are people that I love, my family and I am so proud of the fact that I can be a voyeur into the life of something good. I’m honored and inspired.

This feature warms my heart. These couples are far from perfect, but they are the real thing. I wanted to write about relationships of young people that went beyond ten years or more. I am happy with what I see here. I get mushy when I read their responses and when I see the love flowing between them all.
Don’t give up on love yall, the ONE is on the horizon.

Happy love day!
Peace and blessings,
Dee