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I love you.
But
I can’t stand you.
You make me happy.
And
You make me cry.
You are a listening ear.
But
You talk to much.
You go away,
Yet
You always come back
You are always there for me
When I need you,
You are always there for me

You are imperfect
I know that
But
I….
can’t get through life without you
I love you
I need you
My family

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Family—they get on my nerves sometimes, but we remain/are close in spite of it. And… the fact is, I can’t live without them !

Peace and love,
Dee

” The bone collector. I chew em up, and spit em out like snuff.”

Men that is. But not in the way you might think. It seems, I’ve developed quite a reputation. I don’t wait years or even months to aknowledge the truth of what a man shows me. If he has questionable behavior, or is disrespectful, or has character defects that just won’t do for me, I end it. Immediately.
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Look, I’m a grown woman. I even have an adult child. I don’t have time for chaos, or confusion. I can’t and I won’t waste my time on someone who starts off wrong. It’s me and, I make no apologies for that. Those who are close to me joke me about it though. A few of us were together the other night, and I was talked about like I wasn’t even there. It was all in fun, but still they weren’t holding back. My cousin mentioned her husband asked how things are going with a guy I was newly dating because, “we all know that it could be over in a flash as soon as he does something she doesn’t like.” (By she, she meant me.)
They all chimed in laughing in unison,  slapping fives and agreeing that his bones could being laying in the box along with the rest at any minute. I laughed it off too, but it has certainly forced me to think this thing over. Especially after my date with that same man they were referring to, ended in haste. At first, I was having a good time. Really just enjoying getting to know him, and then all in one date,  everything was revealed to me.
This guy is the antithesis of everything that I’m not. Things I told him I didn’t like, he agreed with me, yet, he revealed those very same things in himself. All in one date. I sat back, and watched, listened, and shook my head to the tune of, I am was just too damn good for this. I’m not going to get into deep details, but, it had alot to do with drugs and alcohol, marriage, and a closeness that began to feel…..fake. I didn’t want to marry him, I had just met him. He was already planning our engagement pictures. Then a wedding. Scratch that. This fool is crazy.
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Love should be organic. Not rushed, or forced just…natural.

Underneath all the mess, I guess he was a nice guy, but clearly not for me. I ran from him. NOT WALKED, I RAN. There is no way I can accept lies, deceit, and disorderly conduct. It happened so fast, his head was spinning. My final words…I’m done.

Bone collector strikes again.

I don’t really like having such a reputation for sniffing out the bull, but I guess I’ve earned it. How you start is how you finish. If you have behavior from day one that I cant stomach, why would I continue?  In relationships we often give away too much, too soon. So fast that we don’t get to see the questionable behavior that could be lying underneath. It gets clouded by emotion and we can’t see clearly. Therefore, we later complain about these issues but, ignore what’s been there from the start. I’ve been there and done that. No more. I won’t…I’m done.

Dee
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A true life short by Dee.