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You know what.. You heffas kills me… Makes my booty and my scalp itch.

You huzzies will talk about how you are so special because you have a man, the best man in the world as if it makes you, supreme being because nobody else has what you have.
You’ll talk about how you will take someone’s man, and be a side chic and claim its your right. You’ll talk about 32 inches of Brazilian, Remi, Russian, Peruvian, or Cambodia hair, the best edge control this side of the earth, and the latest and hottest hand bag.
You’ll show that cheap ass bag of shaat that bae got you from Victoria Secret, and the barely alive flowers he picked up from the Giant on the way to your house for a booty call.
You will post about the hottest party of the year, and how you stunted on every one of them. You’ll talk about being petty as if it’s somehow cute. Like it’s a badge of honor and then will have a cheering squad like yea, I’m petty too. 
On a daily, you will insult other sisters as if they are somehow beneath you, and you do it with so much pride. You’ll call yourselves bad bitches, and then demand that a man respect you like you are the grand quintessential everything. You’ll talk about your baby daddy being a dead beat, even though you picked him, and talk about his new baby momma being ugly and nasty and fat,and then fuss with your new mans baby momma like it’s somehow your right. 
You’ll talk about your haters, how someone looks fat, ugly, has two stomachs, two necks, wears a waist trainer and is a hoe, but you heffas won’t talk about social injustice and race relations in this country.. 
You heffas won’t acknowledge that we have a real crises within our own communities, let alone America. 

Keep on living in your own comatose bubble and getting your lashes done by Ming ting a ling, and painting brows on with sharpie markers but when it comes to what really matters, you are as shallow and superficial asthe 1 feet of pool water that they put in the baby pool.. Chile, vamoose… Be gone!


Before you say it, or even think, I’ll say it. Yes, I’ve been away from this blog way to long. Listen, man, look.. I’ve been consumed by school and parenthood and life in general. So forgive me. But what better way to bring me out of my hiatus than a good old rant.. I’m not checking for grammatical errors or sentence structure so you shouldn’t either. I get enough of that in school. Save your corrections for someone who cares. This is not that type of post.  This is just a rant..full of slang, and possibly errors… but the point is to make folks take a look inside. we have bigger fish to fry..

Peace and love,

Dee  (hey y’all.. I missed my blog)

 

If you are following the course of your gifts and doing it the way God tells you, don’t get distracted by other people’s opinions.

Everybody will not agree with what you are doing, but if God leads you to do it a certain way, honor that, no matter what.
I had one person basically tell me that my story (You Don’t Know My Shame) didn’t offer any hope. Well that’s her opinion, and she’s entitled to it. It wasn’t that she didn’t agree, it was the way it was said. Like planting a spirit of doubt.  Not gonna happen.

Offering hope was not my main objective with this story. However,  raising awareness and breaking the silence on childhood abuse was. It was an uncomfortable story and it was meant to make the reader feel a certain level of discomfort. I don’t write about moonbeams, lillies, or daffodils.  If that’s what you want, read another Author.
I write about the truth, raw, uncut, and that truth isn’t always so comfortable. For me, that’s the only way real change will happen. Actually tried to tell me how to write MY story. I said,  “well you know what you want,  you should write it, but as long as in writing. I’m gonna do it my way.”

It’s always one!
I’ve had too many people embrace this story and cry to me telling me how it made them think, made them want to make a difference,  and that was the point! Bottom line, someone who doesn’t get the process doesn’t stop me.

Peace and love
Dee

Ho hum bum

It’s just one of them days…

Yea, that’s right! It may sound cliche-ish and a few other articles could have possibly started a post off the same way. Well… sue me. Don’t take it personal, but I feel like belting out Monica’s popular and very relevant tune. That’s right, just five days into the New Year and here I go with my stuff. Well, I’m having a “me” moment, all up in my head. It started as I was sitting at my desk working and minding my own business. My co-worker comes in and starts having life chat with me. The chat was flowing well, we chuckled a little, talked about our kids, and our lives, our age and hitting the next big milestone since were both the same age. And it dawned on me, just as sure as I mouthed the words out loud, that I will be turning the big “40” in about 8 months. Not that I didn’t know this, but it’s something about 2012 that makes it more real. At first, I was good saying, I’ll be forty next year, no worries. But somehow saying, I’ll be forty THIS year makes it feel….different.

This is a new feeling, I’ve never experienced before. I’m slightly panicked. Lawdy Jesus, what is wrong with me.

A story comes to mind.

Some years back, a close friend had turned forty. We are exactly 10 years apart so I was thirty at the time. Well, she appeared to be embracing turning forty very well. She planned a party, had excitement and then when her birthday came, she woke up in a funk! She wouldn’t answer any calls; she stayed in bed and would not get up. Later in the day, she finally answered me after I rang her phone off the hook to the 10th power. When I asked her what was going on, she sounded like she was having some sort of breakdown. I told to cut it out and get out of the bed. She told me that she could not. She was explaining how she felt, how her youth was gone, and I just didn’t understand. I kept saying, you are beautiful, you still look young, and it just wasn’t working. She was even talking about not showing up to her own party. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I had to get her out of bed and back to reality. I sat down and wrote her a beautiful poem about how important her life was, telling her all the wonderful things about herself that she had somehow managed to forget. I framed the poem, took it to her. She read it, cried, hugged and thanked me and just like that, her funk was over! She jumped up, began to prepare for her party and did the thing hard like a rock star! We had a blast. I never understood why my friend had those feelings or the mini breakdown until… NOW.

By nature, I’m analytical, and have been known on occasion to over analyze. In any event, I want to know why I’m feeling like this. I’m eight months shy of my birthday and already, I’m feeling some type of way. I know it sounds like craziness! Don’t judge me.

There could be a few reasons why I’ having a bit of anxiety about it. I can’t over think it, let me just say it:

1. My mom passed away when she was young. (44)

2. My mom’s mom passed away in her early forty’s.

3. My mom’s grandmother also passed away in her early forty’s.

4. I’m not married

5. I’ve never been married

6. The fear of running out of time.

Well, there you have it. I think these factors are key components of my feelings towards my next birthday. Don’t get it twisted, I’m not trying to end it or anything, and I thank God for my life thus far, and for my youthful look and feel. Such a blessing. I am human though, and I wonder how many others have felt like this, and how they coped. I’m pretty sure I’ll snap out of this craziness by tomorrow or something, but for now, it’s just one of them days.

Enough of that…

I do have an outfit or two to post. My New Years eve outfit was nothing spectacular. I kept it simple, as I’ve been finding myself leaning towards the simple lately and liking it . We went to a kiddie party earlier in the day, and spent the evening at watch night service. Church service was awesome, and just the perfect way to spend my last night of 2011. What a praise fest we had.

I wore:

Sweater- Target

Faux leather pants- Amsterdam Boutique

Shoes- Burlington

Clutch- shoppers world

Earrings- Rashidagurl

Bracelets- Forever21

Necklace- Lori’s

#4 is the only one who doesn’t mind posing for the camera. She’s a natural. Four is wearing:

Sweater dress- gift from G-ma

Tights- H&M

Faux Leopard Jacket- Children’s place

shoes- Target

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I know Miss Thing is a mess!!

Hope you all are having a good new year thus far.

Until next time, Peace and Blessings,
Dee